If I can just find the reason

That’s the first thing you do when you receive diagnosis, you look for the reason.  Who, or what is to blame for this terrible name given to our confusion? “It will make me feel better, if I know the reason I can cope better.”  But will we, cope better?  Will our load be lifted with the reason for this pain? Will this untrodden path be easier to walk?

Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?”  Jesus said, “You are asking the wrong question.  You If are looking for someone to blame.  There’s no such cause-effect here.  Look instead for what God can do.” (John 9: 1 – 3, The Message)

As I understand it, Jesus says no. “No, don’t do that to yourself.  Trust God for your life, see what He will do.”  If He will heal, if He will minister, if He will restore, if He will humble, it is all up to Him.  But we must trust and look for what He is doing.

Face it.  We cannot change the diagnoses.  We cannot manipulate God into doing anything.  But we can pray and trust, we can worship and find rest in Him.

We can spend our lives trying to identify the cause, the root, where it all began, and the source of this brokenness.  And then when we find it, what then?  Will we be free?  No, we could just add grief, disappointment and most probably bitterness to our lives.  All feelings we can do without.

Whether you know the cause and accepted or don’t know and desperately want to know why.  God advises us to look to Him.  To draw near to Life.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart….” (Jer 1:5, NIV)

When a friend reminded me of God who forms us in the womb, I suddenly, with great surprise, realized that since the diagnosis I did not believe that He formed them purposefully this way.  That somewhere, in this forming process there was a “glitch”.  How unproductive to try and fix something I think God overlooked. How impossible.  What a heavy burden.

To cope with the news I threw myself into every, and anyway to help fix whatever went wrong.  Here I could cope and not fall into a pit of dispair.  We therapised, medicated, dietised and whatever else I could find to do.  Any parent does this, when your child cries, you fix it.  You change the nappy, give medicine, rock them or kiss them.  We are programmed this way we take care of our children.  Don’t get me wrong, all of treatments contributed to my children’s development and the overall place they are functioning in today.

After four years I just realized, as if for the first time, God made them this way.  It isn’t just a temporary setback, they are unique and set apart.  Their way of doing may look and sound different, but their life purpose will be carried out gloriously on this earth.  And Gideon and I have the privilege to share the journey.

The blind man was healed and nothing would ever be the same for him again.  He testified, and praised God.  He met his Maker in an unthinkable wonderful way.  Through him people saw what Jesus could do.  BUT if he wasn’t blind, he was not part of this great uproar, this undeniable miracle …

Written by Johanni Meiring 


Dear Special Needs Parent, you know all about only surviving and asking all the questions we discussed in the blog above. It’s a hard and overwhelming experience! I wrote a book just for you. Yes, this book can help you to embrace peace and your purpose as an individual (not just a special parent) again. In Special Needs Special Life I discuss the 3 Keys which truly served as stepping stones from JUST SURVIVING to LIVING MY LIFE again. I know it can do the same for you! For more info click here

If  you want to visit our PARENT REALITY (Special Needs Parent Support) website click HERE

If you would like to book a Parent Coaching Session with Johanni click HERE

If you want to read more blogs click HERE

Published by Johanni Meiring

Part of my existence revolves around written words. I write because this is how I process. I pray that you can associate and be encouraged.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: